Two things:
1) I feel like guys move on from things faster than girls.(I guess now that I’m in my 20’s I should start saying men & women, but is it weird that I feel weird using those terms still?) Specifically when you have a disagreement in your relationship; I feel like I always have so much more to say or that it needs to be discussed more, but it’s like as soon as you give your explanation a guy says okay I understand and is ready to move on. Things seem to feel resolved for them a lot quicker than it does for girls and you’re left sitting there thinking…okay so that’s it? We’re done; we’re not talking talking about this anymore? It’s kind of frustrating….but I guess at the same time good that he doesn’t want to spend more time being annoyed with each other.
2) All my teachers have finally submitted my grades and the results are….straight A’s!! I really didn’t think I’d pull it off because of how tough the semester was, but I was able to and I’m not going to lie, I feel pretty good about myself! Now I feel like I deserve to celebrate and do something fun!
Thursday-
So I have been moved back home for a little less than a week now; so far so good, but I feel like I’m just here for a couple weeks on vacation and then am heading back to Chicago. It’s going to take awhile for it to sink in that this is my permanent home again, at least for the time being. Who am I kidding, I probably won’t be moved out again into my own place for like two years, but I’m going to try not to think about that—for now I am happy to be back close to my family/friends/boyfriend, have my big bed back, all my clothes together, and to have real food & not have to grocery shop haha.
I’ve gotten to spend a lot of time with my friends this week; just having chill sessions watching American Idol & tonight I’m going to a Zumba class with them so I’m really looking forward to trying that out. One of my besties is making her big move across the country to California tomorrow morning at like 5 a.m. so I went to her going away part this past weekend & spent some time with her tomorrow. We didn’t have a big emotional or dramatic goodbye, I think she has enough on her plate right now that we just kind of tried to avoid making it like that. It’s going to be really weird not having her around since we’ve been super close since I was a freshman in high school (7 yrs ago) but last year we had already started to hang out less, so I’m already used to not seeing her that often. Either way, she’s moving on to the next chapter of her life and I’m super happy for her & I really hope it works out and she’s happy there.
I still have a week until I start work soo for now I’ve just been trying to get my bedroom back in order and just hang out with people, but I’m already starting to feel guilt for not doing something productive. My brother gave me a talk yesterday about how important this summer is for me because I’m heading into my last year of college and I should put together a resume/cover letter & start looking into jobs now and my number one goal besides getting good grades should be to try and have a job by the time I graduate. I always appreciate my brother’s advice and I trust his opinion more than a lot of other people’s, but I JUST started vacation, I don’t feel ready to start thinking about all of that stuff right now.
It’s so exciting to know I have one year of college left, but it’s terrifying because the real world scares me. Meh—I’ll think about that stuff eventually, for now I just want to enjoy the fact that I am on vacation, have not started work or summer school yet (one class) and just be happy & relax!!! This is officially going to be my last “summer break!”
Btw—I miss my roommates already.
2 down 2 to go!
I am halfway done with my finals! I am soooo glad to be done with Nutrition-I just took that final this afternoon and I actually feel confident that I did decently well. I actually studied this time though (last time the study guide he posted didn’t work) and I felt like I knew a lot of the answers. Not nearly as confusing as the midterm. And hey, maybe he’ll still end up curving it like last time if a lot of people do bad & it’ll bump my grade up even higher! I only had an 82% last time I saw my grade, so as long as I don’t drop below a B I will be happy.
Tomorrow I just have to take a test, and then Thursday I have to turn in two essays and do a reading of one. Nothing too hard. And then the next couple days will be spent cleaning and packing my apartment :(. I wish I was moving into my own new apartment that was close to home. It’s not that I think it will be awful moving back in with my parents, they give me a lot of space & privacy, but of course it’s better living in your own space than having them constantly around and feeling like you still have to monitor what you do. Either way, it’s financially the best and smartest choice right now, but I think I’m a determined enough person that after graduation or before I will be pursuing job opportunities. And I will save until I can actually afford to move out and probably live somewhere outside, but not far from the city. That sounds ideal to me.
I refuse to let myself be one of those people that just does the bare minimum after college & doesn’t even try to go into something they studied. What was the point then of spending all that time, effort, and money if you aren’t even going to go for it? Okay enough school rants. It will be nice once this stuff is cleared from my mind for a bit….
Going to Epic Burger with Sammy for dinner tonight!
Somehow I’m always capable of turning some of the best and happiest days into having a shitty ending.
And the only person it ends up being shitty for is me because I let certain feelings take over and I just say what I want to say. Sometimes I wish I could just shut myself up and care less, but I don’t. I always say I won’t do these things, but I do and I guess that’s just who I am.
I’m sorry for the potentially hurtful things I say. Maybe there’s part of me that’s subconsciously sabotaging what I have because I feel like somewhere down the line it’s going to fall apart because it’s almost impossible to believe this person could want to remain in my life for forever.
I really don’t know, all I can say is love makes people do stupid things, say stuff that makes them sound foolish, and hurt others when in actuality they are the person that’s the most precious. It’s a strange strange thing.
Wednesday.
The weather this week has been so beautiful and warm everyday, it’s bumming me out more and more that I’m not on Spring Break, especially because two of my best friends are and are home and I’m missing out on seeing them! But I will get to see them all on Friday night when we go out to the bars back in STC to celebrate Sarah finally being 21. Should be a pretty good night; hopefully we don’t run into any douche bags (coughmikecough).
Besides the great weather this week hasn’t been too different from every other week this semester. Swamped with work, spending pretty much every moment doing work. It seems that most weeks Thursdays are the day that I have the most done, so usually by Tues/Wed I’m busting my balls trying to finish everything. I’m like the exact opposite of a procrastinator, so it’s been hard for me to get used to having to do a lot of my assignments a day or two before. Normally I have them done like a week before, but I just have zero extra time pretty much to get ahead.
I dislike that most of my writing blogs lately have been about school, but it’s kind of taking over my life right now. At least I enjoy what I’m doing and learning, but damn my brain needs a break sometimes from all of this reading. I already decided I’m skipping my class this afternoon, which I haven’t done yet this semester, because I need the extra time to finish my homework. I still have my internship later and then I’m going to this school event w/ my roomies called Tunnel of Oppression which I’m really intrigued for and a bit nervous because it’s supposed to be a bit heavy and emotionally trying.
Basically they described it as being set up like a haunted house, and you go through different scenarios where they will have actors, and it’s supposed to put you in different situations of being oppressed to really make you think and feel what it’s like to be in certain people’s shoes. I wasn’t here last year when they did it for the first time, but I’ve heard good things about it and it sounds pretty intense…so we’ll see how it goes!
Have a great day everyone.
I haven’t been too active on Tumblr lately.
I still love it just as much and find it just as entertaining, but I feel sort of swamped with my schedule this semester. Not in a way that I already feel like I’m drowning (it’s only been 2 weeks), but I have two more things added on than I did last semester: an extra class and internship. But luckily some of my classes don’t have as much work throughout the week and less reading, but DAYUM do I have a lot of reading to do.
I pretty much tried to remind myself every day that I knew I was going to be getting into something that required a lot of reading & writing so I’m not blindsided. The stuff we’re reading is at least interesting & somewhat fresh, not stuff that makes my head bleed and eyes roll back in my head.
I’m pretty excited my internship got changed to Wednesday instead of Fridays because now I have Friday’s off! I can spend the whole day doing whatever I want and getting other little errrands done. Like grocery shopping and then my hair, & then when 6:00 rolls around I’ll leave to meet Danny at the train station. We’re going on an adventurous barcrawl in Bucktown tonight, I’m pretty excited. My roommate wants us to go out clubbing, but we really want to go to the bars because I haven’t really checked out any. It’s also going to be freezing and I’d be wanting to show lots of leg, so I just wouldn’t enjoy that.
Okay I’m done ranting for now, I’ll try and keep up with my blog more so it doesn’t get totally boring. Hope everyone has a great weekend!!
BTW-How come I did not know A Day to Remember was going to be playing at the UIC pavilion tonight? That’s like….fifteen minutes away.
Tomorrow is Christmas Eve!
Now that it’s this close I’m feeling pretty excited. I wish I wasn’t working 9-6 tomorrow, but then I remember I’m off New Years Eve and NY Day so I can’t really complain…
Possible creeper alert, or maybe it’s just a coincidence..
but there is this man that is a regular customer at the store I work at. Over the summer that one day I was ringing him up a the register and he started asking me questions like where am I from, and what do I like to do for fun? I was being friendly, not flirty, and he asked me if I wanted to hang out sometime. I felt really awkward and told him I had a boyfriend, and he asked, “even as friends?” and I just shrugged my shoulders at him and he walked away and said see you around.
Another day after that while working I had just came back from my break and got out of my car and started walking in when someone across the aisle said hi to me and I looked at it was him. I don’t know where he came from, or if he got out of his car at the same time as me, but it was weird. He asked how I was doing and I said good and then I walked quickly inside. My managers started letting me go to the back whenever he comes in because he just kind of lingers and walks around in the mens department slowly. The thing that’s also creepy about him is that he looks really old in the face. He’s always wearing soccer gear, but he looks like an older man…idk.
Anyways, I’ve only been back to work for a week now and he’s come in twice already. I don’t know if it’s on purpose, but my managers feel weary of him when he comes in. One of my managers said she only has seen him once since I left for school and I’ve been gone for three months. He gives me weird vibes. I mean he knows what my car looks like…idk. Whenever he comes in though I let someone in the store know and they usually pass it around. Just in case something happens ya know? I feel like they have my back there.
Didn’t mean to get off the Christmas excitement, but that was just a weird part of my day. I did get to spend some really good time with my boyfriend for a few hours tonight, so that was nice.
Merry Christmas Eve Eve
I’m watching Toy Story and my boyfriend is asleep next to me.
I also got to hang out with my bestie Sarah today. I gave her one of her xmas gifts & she was super excited about it. We also had dinner at CPK (california pizza kitchen = our place). And then we ended the night playing Mario Kart on Wii with my brother and his girlfriend.
Today was a good day. I’m happy :).
My allergies are going crazy today.
I can’t stop sneezing. I will hope this doesn’t turn into anything else because two of my roommates have been sick lately and it seems like something is going around between other people.
Meh, anyway, successful day so far. Got in a good work out & shower before I head off to class. I need to stop and get groceries before I come home. I don’t know if any of you shop at Jewel, but I’ve been collecting those game pieces to try and win something. My mom has some too so we’ve combined a lot of them. We’re really close to winning a lot of the prizes, but I doubt we will. You know they probably have certain pieces that there is very few of so you have a low chance of winning. I’m still gonna try though!
I’m probably just going to chill and try to get some more work done tonight. I have to finish a book and paper for my class Wednesday so I needa do that.
By the way, watching Balto last night was super enjoyable, I still love that movie.
Happy Monday tumblrers.
10-31-11
take a look around you
appreciate what you see
it won’t always be there
but i drown in the thoughts of you and me
sometimes it’s so suffocating
trying to figure it out, and what it’s about
but i reach for more
hypnotized by it’s addictive allure
i can feel it on my finger tips
and then it slips away
but i always find myself coming back
with the sunrise and promise of each new day
so please don’t lose faith in me
because i need you now more than ever
you’re the only thing that’s ever come close
to making me want forever
